Dude, Sweet Halk Bra... Nice

Today was unlike any other rest day, not only because we ended up climbing, but because it was full of good laughs that would have offended any taking life too serious. Well really that's most days with the crew, this day felt special for a couple reasons, but lets start from the beginning shall we. I'd planned on spending the day wondering the Butter Milks with Craig, just to warm up, get a good stretch and save my skin because Mondays plan for Get Carter Boulder and then Dales Camp (an area over the creek near my tent).

So anyways, I woke late sleeping till nearly nine (at the time having forgotten about day light savings and the fact my phone [my clock] adjust auto accordingly) and mossy'n out of bed for some oats, boiled up with some bannana and brown sugar, topped of with some almond milk. I lazed around reading Tom Sawyer, when I was interrupted several chapters into the day by Dave and his pedophile van. He rolled in to announce he was headed to the Happies Crag, out by town, to try Atari. I had the skin for one problem, especially that, so I made him shake Craig's tent.

We were off down the dirt road, which is Butter Milk Rd, to town soon enough to meet the crew at Star Bucks. On arrival we were informed of the plan for an afternoon session, to leave at three, as suggested by the Norwegians. So we flopped down our laptops for a days work and this is when things got interesting or entertaining none the least. We were having fun watching climbing video's and talking in appropriately for some time, when a guy walked in with big holes in his ears and short blonde hair. who knew this dude was about to make our day. After ordering his drink he found it necessary to interrupt Dave from his internet browsing to tell him he had a great mohawk. Now here's the thing Dave's hawk was nothing to wow about, the hair on the sides of his head had had a month of growth and he had been wearing a toque (wool hat for those American readers) the day before and we had joked it looked more like a topay and that we probably wouldn't trust him around children.

Anyways, back to Star Bucks were things remained the same and unchanged by our visitor for some time until I couldn't contain myself and had to ask, "that guy, he liked your hawk, what exactly did he say?" and at that point I discovered everyone curiosity because suddenly everyone inquired. Soon everyone was in hysterics over what had gotten into this mystery guy and everyone began complimenting Dave for his hawk, "dude, sweet hawk bra" unable to keep a straight face and sending everyone else back into hysterics. The real customers, not just there to rob the internet and sit there smelling bad, probably assumed we were all high. Later upon discussion we agreed guy must have been high. As the clock struck a ninety degree angle, we took our filth to our cars (Craig and I finding three kiwis on the light post next to the car) and off to the Happies, on the upper plains north of town.

There we warmed up on two classic lines, Jaw dropped over Redrum and the Hulk which if not for conserving skin, was oh so tempting. We arrived at Atari with two beautiful hours of daylight to spare, to find a bag of sourdough buns. It was extremely hot and several bodies complained and Gordo who was blamed for the plan pointed the finger toward the Norwegian's suggestion. We spent the rest of the late day sun there, enjoying the perfect lighting conditions and laughing our ass's off over remixing the lyrics to classic songs in all sorts of unrepeatable inappropriate manors, that would have made our fathers proud, our mothers embarrassed and our grands rolling in the grave.

A tamer subject would be how mohawk admirer was probably watching gay porn all morning and had, craving a coffee, just ran to Star Bucks to grab a drink and had mistaken Dave for his favourite gay actor, wanted to tell him his penis was so large, had choked and merely complemented his hawk. "I hear the camera adds atleast three inches," and by almost dark Gordo topped out finally, for the send of the day and Craig still huddled shaking in a corner from having to witness a underwear-less Gordo's Dick deliberately hanging unimpressive small and Jewish (according to the witness) from between the zipper of his fly.